Dachshunds Gonna Dig

Vera is an eight-year-old wirehair dachshund. I have lunch with her parents every week, and almost without fail, Vera greets me with muddy paws. This is because she’s a dachshund. Her ancestors were bred to hunt badgers, which required them to be eager to dig into a hole where they smelled prey.

Getting this wiggle butt to stay still for a picture is IMPOSSIBLE.

Recently, I asked Vera’s parents if they would ever train her not to dig. Her dad laughed. “Absolutely not. It’s against her nature. We’d teach her where she can dig.”

This is such an elegant idea. It captures three essential components of wellness: accepting what can’t be changed, changing what can, and recognizing the difference.

Let’s say that Vera digs herself out of her yard. She could get lost or hit by a car. If Vera digs in her dad’s favorite rose bushes, it may not be dangerous, but it’s definitely causing harm. In both cases, digging itself isn’t the problem; it’s how she’s doing it that need to be addressed. Her parents can accept her as a digging dog, and focus the behavior in a way that doesn’t cause harm.

While humans may not have breed-specific behaviors like dogs do, we do have things about ourselves that we need to accept, things we need to change, and a lot of trouble telling the difference.

For example, let’s say Kendra drinks a few glasses of wine at the end of the day. She has a really stressful job, and wine is the only thing that numbs her out enough to relax in the evening and go to sleep.

Kendra’s problem is something that comes up often for people. She’s trying to cope, and she is! She’s found something – alcohol – that makes her feel relaxed and lets her fall asleep immediately. But that same thing is actually making her sleep and stress worse, and will have long term consequences for her health.

In the field of mental health, we talk a lot about adaptive and maladaptive coping skills. An adaptive coping skill is one that helps you cope in a way that doesn’t cause you or the people around you harm. A maladaptive coping skill also helps you cope, but it causes you or the people around you harm at the same time. In Kendra’s case, she’s coping with her stress by drinking, but causing herself harm with that coping skill, so it’s maladaptive.

Maladaptive coping skills take a lot of different forms: spending too much money, substance abuse, yelling at loved ones, reckless driving, and self-harm, to name a few. They help you survive the moment, but they make things worse later.

So what should Kendra do? If she stops drinking, that will only solve the maladaptive part of her problem. She still needs coping skills. Without those adaptive coping skills, it will be really hard not to go back to the maladaptive ones, like drinking.

And this is where Vera’s digging comes in.

Hello pet me.

The need to do something – relax, vent emotion, feel safe or powerful, or even dig – is not what needs changing. It’s important to accept that need as normal and valid.

What needs to be changed is how.

This is how we get from maladaptive to adaptive coping skills. Again, if Kendra just stops drinking, she’s going to be left with all those painful thoughts and emotions she was trying to numb out. She needs to replace the maladaptive coping skill with adaptive ones. Going to therapy, seeking out a recovery community, exercise, switching jobs, stress management skills, talking to her doctor about medication – the list for healthy replacement coping skills is long.

To recap:

What needs to be accepted: Kendra needs to rest, relax, and sleep better

What needs to be changed: How Kendra rests, relaxes, and sleeps better

How to know the difference: Kendra’s original coping skill was causing her harm, so she needs one that doesn’t cause harm

Let’s apply this to Vera. If her parents’ landlord is going to evict them because of Vera’s digging, the behavior is causing harm to the people around her. If Vera’s digging herself out of the yard, she’s at risk of getting lost or hit by a car, so now it’s causing harm to her. It’s okay that Vera needs to dig (coping skill); it’s just a question of where (adaptive or maladaptive).

If you hear yourself in this article, start with gentleness towards those maladaptive coping skills. They deserve honor for helping you survive, and you deserve respect for surviving. Next, take a compassionate look at what those skills were helping you cope with. What are some more adaptive ways to cope? This might be a hard question to answer. Sometimes a medical provider, therapist, mentor, or trusted friend can help you answer that question. Whatever the case, you both need and deserve healthy and adaptive coping skills.

Honey, you are a dachshund, and dachshunds gonna dig. The question is where.

Kojirou Sasaki | Unsplash