What Now?

How to take care of your mental health and each other post-election

Nov 13, 2024

While Dog Lover’s Guide is not a political newsletter, the reality is we can’t separate politics and mental health. If you can’t get addiction treatment because your addiction is considered a legal or moral problem instead of an illness, your mental and physical health is political. If you can’t get your child the gender affirming care they need because it’s been made illegal, your child’s mental health and wellbeing is political. If you can’t find an OBGYN for your pregnancy because they’ve all fled the state, your health and safety is political.

For anyone whose rights have been threatened or denied because of their race, ethnicity, sex, immigration status, gender identity, or sexual orientation, the personal is political. My mental health, and the mental health of everyone in these groups, is fused with politics. So today’s post is going to be a little different. I’ll still include lots of pictures of my pups, but today we’re going to talk about how to take care of your mental health, and the mental health of those around you, in the wake of the American election.

Fluffy white and red sheltie staring up at the camera and smiling — Sammy loves you.

I grew up on hero stories: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and the Chronicles of Narnia, among so many others. These stories taught an inspiring morality: that anyone, even the most unassuming hobbit or orphan, could be a hero, which meant it was everyone’s duty to try.

What these stories also inadvertently taught was that we had to be the hero for our contribution to count. We had to sacrifice everything, face the Big Bad mano a mano, and defeat him.

Alone.

Big eared white and gray sheltie staring at the camera — Brie wants you to know that you’re not alone.

I am not the hero of this story, and neither are you. You don’t have to be. You can’t be.

There is no one person who’s going to protect trans kids or migrant communities or Ukrainians. No one person is going protect my same-sex marriage. If you try to be the hero, you will either burn out quickly or never even get started because the task is too daunting to begin.

A dear friend and mentor told me that anything I decided to do needed to be something I could do in the long run. “For it to make a difference,” he said, “it has to be sustainable for a long time.”

In the spirit of his advice, let me offer this framework.

Establish Safety

Safety can mean a lot of things. If the election has impacted your mental health, establishing safety may mean calling a crisis line, finding a therapist, talking to your doctor, taking your medication as prescribed, or spending more time with trusted people. See the end of this article for resources.

If you feel a lack of control or agency in your life, learning about your rights, accessing care now, or gathering supplies may help you establish safety. Sometimes establishing safety can be the grounding experience of snuggling with your dog. While it may sound strange, I find a sense of safety in reading history, particularly American history, and seeing just how resilient our system of government is. Because of history, I believe that our democracy will persist.

Think about what ways you feel unsafe, and how you can take back some of that – even if it’s just a little bit. Find what you have control over, and pour your energy into that.

Connect to Community

Find your safe people and spend time with them. Take time to feel what you’re feeling with them. Ask them for help, and give them help too. You are not alone.

Black and brown dog and red goldendoodle running in the snow towards the camera on a mountaintop — Life is better with your pack.

Find Your Cause

There are so many things to worry about right now. Remember: you are not the hero of this story, and you are not going to be able to solve everything. If you fragment your energy, you will be less effective. If you overuse your energy, you will burn out and no longer be effective. If you get overwhelmed and freeze, you will not be effective at all. Think of yourself as part of a collective. Remember what my mentor said: find something sustainable and do that. Trust that other people are working on other things, and keep your eyes on your cause.

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Do Something Small Every Day

You are not Aragorn. You are soldier number 242. You matter, your presence is absolutely necessary, but your part is small. Your job is to do something to contribute to your cause every single day, or week, or month. That could be giving money, making hopeful art, writing letters, volunteering, texting your friend who needs support, or creating safe spaces for people who aren’t safe. It could be a hundred other things. Whatever it is, do it. And then keep doing it. Don’t stop doing it.

Black and brown long haired dog staring at camera while blocking a computer screen. — But also remember to take breaks.

Empathize

A lot of people feel unsafe right now, afraid for their own future, or for the future of their loved ones. Some people feel confident that their own lives will be largely unaffected by the American election results, but their hearts are breaking for everyone who cannot say the same. If you are in this group, thank you. Thank you for your empathy, for caring about something that doesn’t personally impact you.

Sharon Salzberg, a teacher of loving kindness meditation, says the heart of true morality is empathy. Defined as the ability to understand what someone else is experiencing even when their situation is different from your own, empathy is central to both mental and societal health. If the election results aren’t going to affect your life, please extend empathy to those who are afraid. Make empathy central to your morality.