Human Husbandry

The Care and Cultivation of Yourself

I am so excited to introduce Dog Lover’s Guide to Feeling Better’s first series! In honor of the new year, Pants and I are going to take the next few weeks to focus on the concept of Human Husbandry.

“What the heck is human husbandry?” you may ask.

Great question. I made it up.

The care and keeping of animals is called animal husbandry. I learned at the moment of writing this that it’s called husbandry because in Middle English, the word husband meant farmer. But now it means male spouse. English is fascinating and weird, but that’s a topic for a different Substack.

Anyway, today husbandry refers to the care and cultivation of crops and animals, or the management and conservation of resources. Guess what? You deserve care, cultivation, and conservation, too.

Pants, cultivating herself

Here at Dog Lover’s Guide, we believe that the kindness, care, and unconditional love you give your pup is something you should give to yourself and other humans, too. But let’s be real, sometimes it’s hard to do things for yourself. Sometimes the idea of self-care feels overwhelming or distressing, and so you avoid it.

But what if you took the approach of human husbandry? You have this body and it deserves care and cultivation. How do you want to cultivate it today? How can you blend the care and keeping of your own body with that of your dog? Maybe it’s going to sleep an hour earlier. Maybe it’s taking a class on budgeting. Maybe it’s teaching your dog a whole dance routine, which is the cultivation of both your minds and bodies and could also lead to fame and fortune, who knows!

Pants can’t dance, but she can grill.

Human husbandry includes a healthy measure of self-compassion. A lot of times, we struggle to take care of ourselves because we feel overwhelmed, depressed, stressed out, or exhausted. But then when we don’t do those things, we beat ourselves up verbally. We might think things like:

· I haven’t showered in four days. I’m so disgusting!

· I’m so irresponsible with money. I can’t be trusted with anything.

· I bought all those veggies for meal prepping and now they’re rotten. I don’t know why I even try.

Have you ever thought about the function of negative self-talk? What exactly is it supposed to do for you? When you call yourself a slob for not doing your dishes, or a failure for not paying down your credit card again this month, does it motivate you to do better next month?

My guess is no. Negative self-talk is a form of punishment, and we know that punishment is not an effective tool for long-term behavior change. It is an effective tool for avoidance. So when you yell at yourself for not staying on top of the laundry or going to the doctor, you’re actually now less likely to do those things in the future. And also you feel small and bad.

Self-compassion is the antidote to negative self-talk. Self-compassion involves mindfully noticing the self-judgment, offering yourself kind words, and recognizing that you’re not alone in your struggle. I mean, I’m going to write a whole article about how hard it can be to brush your teeth and shower because it’s such a common problem. I promise you, you’re not alone.

Pants, for one, hasn’t bathed in months.

Human husbandry is based on this philosophy: give to yourself what you give to your animals. Give the same kindness, gentleness, generosity, attention, love, and warmth to yourself as you give to your pets. Be as attentive to your own well-being as you are to theirs.

In this six-part series, we’ll cover eating, sleeping, medical care, finances, personal hygiene, and exercise. And don’t worry, I will mostly be telling Pants stories. If you’d like to see other topics covered, send me a message or comment below. I’ll see you on the 22^nd, when we talk about medical care, otherwise known as going to the vet!