“Shoulda, coulda” is every parents mantra! We learn best thru trying and fixing. Look how much Pants benefited from the knowledge you gained by raising Sammie!
This hits very close to home for me. I have always adopted my dogs from rescues or shelters and I have fostered many. I have never had a dog I couldn't handle. Until now. Tasha is a Yorkie mix that lived her first 2 1/2 years in poor conditions in a house with 25 other dogs; a breeder/hoarder situation. She had little to no socialization.
When we first adopted her, she was very fearful, but she gradually came out of her shell and was very loving with me. Six months later she started nipping people that came into our home. We've had her 2 1/2 years now and she has had multiple level 2 bites and 2 level 3's. I've tried everything from a trainer to meds to physically restraining her to lots and lots of treats. The level 3 bites happened when I was not at home and my husband, who has Parkinson's and dementia, couldn't handle her.
So we made the gut-wrenching decision to have her PTS next week. I feel like a failure, but i know in my heart I've done everything in my power. She is just too damaged. Still, I keep playing the shoulda, woulda, coulda. Keep me in your thoughts next week and thanks for reading of you got this far. ❤️😥
Linda, this is possibly the hardest decision any pet owner can make. I'm so sorry this burden is on you. Have you connected with other people who've had to make the behavioral euthanasia decision? There are some groups on facebook that are very supportive. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Oh boy, I made so many mistakes with my first big-girl dog, Shep. He was the gentlest giant you could ever meet, a purebred Maremma sheepdog. I had grown up with very biddable breeds in my parents' house and had no understanding that the Maremma needs partnership, not ownership. Eventually we all got Google and I was able to learn more about this majestic breed and its cousins, and now that Bella is 10, I can look back and made my own fair share of mistakes with her. But every mistake I've made is an opportunity to learn and be better for Bella and No. 3 when it's their turn to come into my life. And yes, I do actually apologize to Shep sometimes for being awful.
This is such a gentle and compassionate piece -- just what we all need. My parenting regrets? I wish I'd been less negative and anxious. Starting now...I will be. Thanks Chloe.
Thank you, Kaarin. I think something that's so hard about parenting is the idea that you want to do everything right because your children are the most precious thing to you -- but even if you do everything right, you'll still give them a complex because then they'll feel like they have to be perfect, too! You just can't win. All you can do is the best you can, make amends, and show your kids how to be imperfect well. Which I'm certain you have done.
I’d been struggling with all the mistakes I made with my pup, even after she passed I still felt guilt over all of the should haves- SO many. And I try to remember that I was still a pretty good dog mom, but they sometimes weigh heavy on my heart. It was reassuring to read your post and I do appreciate your vulnerability and honesty! We do do the best we can in the moment. 💚
I feel that very much with Sammy and Brie. There's so much I wish I'd done differently, but also I loved them to bits and they loved me, and now with Pants I'll do my best to do better. Thank you for your comment!
Ugh this one was difficult to read because I beat myself up almost daily for things I didn't know when parenting my son. And with my last dog Mojo who spent SO much time alone when i worked outsidethe home.
So many things I wish I'd done differently but now they're both gone, probably scolding the shit out of me from a cloud lol.
I think the hardest mistakes are the ones with people and pets who are gone, so we can't make amends. In those situations, I believe it's important to connect with the love you had for your lost loved one, and the love they had for you, and to remember that that outshines any mistakes. And then, we do our best to do better with others going forward.
“Shoulda, coulda” is every parents mantra! We learn best thru trying and fixing. Look how much Pants benefited from the knowledge you gained by raising Sammie!
Thank you so much, Cindy. That certainly is the comforting spot in all my mistakes!
This hits very close to home for me. I have always adopted my dogs from rescues or shelters and I have fostered many. I have never had a dog I couldn't handle. Until now. Tasha is a Yorkie mix that lived her first 2 1/2 years in poor conditions in a house with 25 other dogs; a breeder/hoarder situation. She had little to no socialization.
When we first adopted her, she was very fearful, but she gradually came out of her shell and was very loving with me. Six months later she started nipping people that came into our home. We've had her 2 1/2 years now and she has had multiple level 2 bites and 2 level 3's. I've tried everything from a trainer to meds to physically restraining her to lots and lots of treats. The level 3 bites happened when I was not at home and my husband, who has Parkinson's and dementia, couldn't handle her.
So we made the gut-wrenching decision to have her PTS next week. I feel like a failure, but i know in my heart I've done everything in my power. She is just too damaged. Still, I keep playing the shoulda, woulda, coulda. Keep me in your thoughts next week and thanks for reading of you got this far. ❤️😥
Linda, this is possibly the hardest decision any pet owner can make. I'm so sorry this burden is on you. Have you connected with other people who've had to make the behavioral euthanasia decision? There are some groups on facebook that are very supportive. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Thank you so much for your kind words. ❤️
Oh boy, I made so many mistakes with my first big-girl dog, Shep. He was the gentlest giant you could ever meet, a purebred Maremma sheepdog. I had grown up with very biddable breeds in my parents' house and had no understanding that the Maremma needs partnership, not ownership. Eventually we all got Google and I was able to learn more about this majestic breed and its cousins, and now that Bella is 10, I can look back and made my own fair share of mistakes with her. But every mistake I've made is an opportunity to learn and be better for Bella and No. 3 when it's their turn to come into my life. And yes, I do actually apologize to Shep sometimes for being awful.
I resonate deeply with your experience. I'm grateful to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.
This is such a gentle and compassionate piece -- just what we all need. My parenting regrets? I wish I'd been less negative and anxious. Starting now...I will be. Thanks Chloe.
Thank you, Kaarin. I think something that's so hard about parenting is the idea that you want to do everything right because your children are the most precious thing to you -- but even if you do everything right, you'll still give them a complex because then they'll feel like they have to be perfect, too! You just can't win. All you can do is the best you can, make amends, and show your kids how to be imperfect well. Which I'm certain you have done.
I’d been struggling with all the mistakes I made with my pup, even after she passed I still felt guilt over all of the should haves- SO many. And I try to remember that I was still a pretty good dog mom, but they sometimes weigh heavy on my heart. It was reassuring to read your post and I do appreciate your vulnerability and honesty! We do do the best we can in the moment. 💚
I feel that very much with Sammy and Brie. There's so much I wish I'd done differently, but also I loved them to bits and they loved me, and now with Pants I'll do my best to do better. Thank you for your comment!
Thank you, Chloe!
Ugh this one was difficult to read because I beat myself up almost daily for things I didn't know when parenting my son. And with my last dog Mojo who spent SO much time alone when i worked outsidethe home.
So many things I wish I'd done differently but now they're both gone, probably scolding the shit out of me from a cloud lol.
I think the hardest mistakes are the ones with people and pets who are gone, so we can't make amends. In those situations, I believe it's important to connect with the love you had for your lost loved one, and the love they had for you, and to remember that that outshines any mistakes. And then, we do our best to do better with others going forward.
This is great perspective…for raising dogs, raising children, and just about anything in life!
Thank you!